Suicida

The act of killing oneself.

Killing oneself is a crime.

I don’t understand why suicide rate is going up today.  Not long ago news on TV and radios include suicides of children.  But today, right at my place, few meters from my home, an adult committed suicide.  Although I didn’t know a thing about not until I came to the office.

It sounds sad and it made a tag of pain in my heart when I heard news like that since we belong to the same family – The family of God. I tried to think what could be the problem or how big should be the problem why it leads one to commit klling his/her own self.

One of my mom’s sister committed suicide, too long time ago (1997) but I did not have the chance to see her face because I don’t like good memory of her face will be changed. 

Today, I had the chance to see that woman’s face. I was curious because we belong to the same faith and the same community and yet am not familiar with her except for the husband who works here in the school.    There is no calm look in her face.  I saw in her a trace of stuggle because it wrinkled her brow and her tongue curled but purtruding a bit.  I can imagine that feeling of being choked by someone on the neck.  They said the thing she used to tie her neck get into her skin, but i was not interested of that — the important thing was I want to see her face.  I thought if one commits suicide he or she will feel at ease doing the thing so I assume she or he will have a calm countenance.  But it’s the opposite.

In my faith, I believe that if one committed suicide, he or she then be of the devil.  I even heard that in some sects, the body of the person who committed suicide can’t go into the church for the last service.  I realized now that it sounds sad.  I believe that when one committed suicide, it means this person felt so horribly hopelessly alone thus the reason to commit suicide.  Maybe the person feels he or she is just alone against the whole world.  Maybe he or she has no one to talk toand share his or her deepest problems – so he or she then thinks >>> i’d better die.  Now that he or she is dead, even the church can’t accept him or her in. (Well, I really dunno what’s the stand of my church in this, but this really happens to some somewhere, some place).

I wish those who are left behind can have the power to know what transpire in the mind of the persons before he/she commits suicide.

So now, therefore I conclude, it is always important to talk out what you really feel. Find a best friend (be it your mom, your gf, your bg, grandma, your dad) whom you can really trust with your deepest thoughts – your deepest fears, and hopes.   I know this because I have my own moments too – but I know that each person can eventually get out of that abyss of desperation and hopelessness. 

Life is like a wheel.  Life is a cycle.  It has its ups and downs.  And ones it is down, we should not lose hope – because in time, life will just turn upward again.