Influence of Ordinal Position on Children

I am the eldest of 3 siblings.  I got a younger sister who at this time is having same age as me. (Gonna change mine in few days. hmmmm). Our youngest is a boy –which i think complicated more the hardship my mom has to go through.

 As the eldest child — I have so many questions on why was i dealt that way when i was still a kid and why my younger sister is treated this way and my brother that way.  My questions can’t be answered my mom.  The “favoritism” is not so obvious but i have clearly seen it — the 3 of us were reared differently as we grow up with different attitudes and outlook in life.

I come across a reading that made me understand (now) in a way that the ordinal position of kids in the family matters in the formation of outlook in one’s life.

 FIRST BORN: 

- Are achievement oriented 

- Are more dominant

- Receive more physical punishment

- Are allowed to show more aggression to siblings

- Have stronger consciences, are self-disciplined and inner directed

- Are more socially anxious

- Are prone to feelings of guilt

- Identify more with parents than with peers

- Are more conservative

- Are subject to greater parental expectations

- Begin to speak earlier in life

- Demonstrate higher intellectual achievement

- Plan better and experience fever frustrations

 

MIDDLE CHILDREN:

- Have more demands on them for household help

- Are praised less often

- Receive less of parent’s time

- Learn to communicate and be adaptable

- Are less stimulated toward achievement

- Are more difficult to characterize because of variety of positions in the family

 

YOUNGEST CHILDREN: 

- Are less dependent than firstborn children

- Are less tense, more affectionate, and more good-natured

- Tend to identify more with peer group than with parents

- Are more flexible in their thinking

- Are popular with classmates

- Have fewer demands placed on them for household help.

ONLY CHILDREN: 

- Resemble firstborn children

- Are more mature and cultivated

- Experience great parental pressure for mature behavior and achievement

- Demonstrate superiority in language facility

- Rarely, develop into stereotype of spoiled, selfish child

- Often enjoy a rich fantasy life as a result of isolation

 

I can clearly identify myself on the first born description and my siblings in theirs respectively.  I could say lucky me or lucky them at same time say unlucky me and unlucky them.  I can’t forget those times when I am punished because my siblings are fighting eachother.    My mom thinks i I didn’t do my responsibility of taking care of them.  Anyway – am glad to be grown up now.  Challenges and responsibilities are much more but at least i can now decide on my own and live life the way am comfortable with it.

How about you? Do you find the corresponding traits in yourself or your sibling? Would love to hear about it.