I created this blog for thoughts on anything just about my girl. My latest entry was “She cried, I Just Want Mommy”
This is my first time to write it down but have talked it out several times to people who really want to hear “that part” of the story of my life. And every time i talked about it, tears jst wells up and fall because i can still hear my daughter’s painful cry and begging me to stop spanking her.
I have the guilt of tarnishing pain in her innocent mind. I am guilty of letting her (a 2 year & 7 months old) feel pain and anger in a bad way. And til this day and i guess forever will always have that regret. What am trying to do after that day is just trying to love her as much as i can — but then couple of years after that, I left her again. I really can sense in her that she does not have that strong inbox of love for me but for her lola she has and i can’t blame her for that. Lola have spanked her but not much as i did spanked her with those plastic hangers.
Lesson I learned that day in 2000? Never to hit (discipline) a child when you are angry.
Ohhh bad mommy! 
(sigh)
Here’s US 6 years later (Dec 2006)
They Speak